I shoveled some gravel today in order to lay "government" gravel onto our driveway. Shoveling was peaceful somehow. I quiet break away from the confines of my house for about an hour. Just politly brushing away at the gravel into small managable piles which I would later put into a wheelbarrel. It was a warm day, and I keep on failing to recognize that I had sun-glasses on, taking in my current unglaring view as reality. In fact my reality is already kind of skewed due to the fact that I already had prescription glasses on which meant I had to almost fit into reality with a noticiable physical extension.

I felt kind of funny shoveling, mainly due to the CBC radio "Out Front" a small 15 minute show aired every weekday at 11:45pm pacific, which basically shows the variety of the Canadian voice, small little peculiar stories of everything and of nothing. It was very interesting since it showcased a girl who suffered from bi-polar disorder AKA erratic and extreme mood swings, who uses music and her bass guitar to relax and keep her in check. I felt somehow relating to this person, but then considering the wonderful words of my recent probably employer, it's merely wishful thinking. The fact is I did feel on the edge, even though it was more of a physical reality, shoveling gravel on the street, slightly embarassed as cars pass by me. Cars that would schmuk me good if they weren't paying attention. In fact I was more worried about how I dressed than the passerbys.

It was kinda interesting because I did set up this invisible "border" about where the gravel line ended on the street. I would be in vehicular manslaughter zone if I ever crossed the line. Much like how the person on "Out Front" had made some self imposed borders in order to keep in check.



I just wish to know the name of the guitar soloist she mentioned that she loved.